revelation part deux

I have not been a purveyor of healthy living, in that sense where I don't eat my meals regularly, sleep regularly, exercise, drink lots of water etc etc etc. Firstly, I detest drinking water. In a week I probably drink a maximum of 5-6 cups of water and i'm not even kidding. I can honestly go without water and rely on bottled/can drinks, and i won't even realise that my body has not even consumed an equitable amount of water to keep my system going. 

I don't eat my meals regularly too. I don't like the idea of having to consume 4 meals per day and maybe i don't realise on how much i've been cutting back but the worst part is, I dont even consume fluids which are essential for survival- and i'm sure we all know what i'm talking about here, yes it is water. 

I kept thinking as to why people around me could keep going although they are as equally stressed as me, equally loaded with work (with the exception of art), why they didn't fall ill easily, how they could continue burning the midnight oil without having all sorts of weird illnesses like me. And then I realised they drink LOTS of water, and I mean LOTS AND LOTS of water. The doctor said I had dehydration and exhaustion, came as a package with fever and some gastric pains here and there. 

And so I did some research, self-realization yada yada yada and I have finally realised the glorifying importance of drinking water. It was a whole revelation once it hit me that my body is lacking the nutrients water has on its own. I personally hate drinking water but i've been coercing myself to drink it in order to prevent further illnesses from getting to me. I will attempt to sort my life and hectic schedule right to prevent myself from falling ill again, till then xx

setbacks

Came home with a 38 degrees fever due to the hectic commotion of school, work and what nots. I'm trying to squeeze in everything with the meager hours I have. Taking art is one tough feat and I dare say that it is one of the most challenging and time-consuming subjects out there. I have been staying back everyday till 6 and that leaves me with around three hours to fit in the rest of the subjects. Enlighten me, if you may, the possibilities of NOT falling ill with such an arduous schedule. The rigor is just beyond my limits and i'm left to face the consequences of 'my' actions. And as to why I wrote 'my' instead of my, is simply because i'm succumbed to such circumstances and I do not have much of a choice. Sick or not, I still don't have much of a choice. Been rushing out my art even with the fever in me. Wonderful. 

ephemeral

 

 

The ephemeral joys in my present life. But of course, there's many more which aren't reflected here. Ever since I stepped down from dance, my days are revolved solely on art. Alright, maybe that's alittle of an exaggeration but you get the drift. For instance, I was cooped up in the art room till 9pm, it was definitely an arduous 5 hours but packed with loads of fun I would never experience elsewhere excluding the art room. 

Currently on a journey of self exploration and discoveries, unraveling its pieces bit by bit. Till then xx

P.S p.s cafe's Double Chocolate Blackout Cake is silent euphoria in your mouth, period. 

we grow

So I was browsing through my old posts in this barren space and i've been thinking on how much i've grown since last year. I have not been blogging consistently like I used too, I miss that feeling, of just poring everything out to this space. The feeling of just knowing that this space, though its a non living thing, will always cease my misery and all the feelings conjured in me. This post might be a fairly long one, just so you know.

I've been through much disappointment, the feeling of dejection, inferiority, miserable and pathetic, especially during my sec three years. I've never been the top or the best at anything. I'll always get put down one way or another, i'm well accustomed to the feeling of always being a dissapointment, of always being the 'useless' and good for nothing soul.. All that, i've been through it.

But i'm proud of myself for being able to close that heinous chapter of my life and move on as though nothing happened. For those who thought i was good for nothing yada yada yada, i pity you. For always putting people down, what unhappy lifes you live.

i'll try to blog more often :( time is just consuming me too much but all is well, i'm still afloat, above ground xx